Random thoughts ...

...

I see you smiling at me. I see your merry eyes twinkle. Your are lovingly pampering your hands with Olay's conditioning hand lotion and you laugh at the antics of the characters that you love dearly on "Zhen Ching". You smile as you watch your grandkids (all 10 of them) tumble into your room and as usual, I turn on the air-cond first, being the most sensitive to heat.

As we all take up our 'positions' around in the room, we laugh as you tell us some old story about our parents when they were little.

I wish you were still here. You, by far, understood me the most, even though I couldn't speak Chinese very well and you always made things better.

I wish I had taken MORE time, although I was working, to buy you your favorite Soya Bean Drink. Although you had called 5 other people for it and you already had 3 bottles chilling in the fridge. I knew that it was a ruse to see us, to have Company in that big, old house. But I chose to put work before you, before me, before everything.

Now you're gone.

And it's too little, too late to realize that I had put my heart into a venture that is taking me nowhere.

I wish you were here.

Ah Mah, Happy Belated Birthday ... and I miss you.