Grey's Anatomy

This is by far one of my most favorite shows of all times. Of course, my life isn't as dramatic as the interns on GA, but I do have my moments.

Right now, after watching the new Season 3 episodes ... I think we're on Episode 10, and right now, I'm feeling like Miranda Bailey is about the injustice that The Chief let's Burke and Tina off the hook without any punishment.

All I've ever really had all this while was my work, and while I wasn't the best at it, I took pride in my work and made sure that I did it to the best of my abilities. I helped around in the office when I could and I made sure that I was a damned good team member to make sure that the team spirit burned on long into the night if that had to happen.

Then this whole fiasco with David and the stupid GSK order and how Esther had to make a big deal out of it, Jude yelling at me, Boss making it like my fault at the G10 meeting and making David the hero and all ... you know what ... I am sad, disappointed, let down, upset, indignant and angry. I'm not upset at David, but the at the fact that because he brings in the sales, he is treated like God. I AM NOT IN THE LEAST BIT JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS, let me remind you. I am used to Jerry being the apple of my parents eyes, I've had many years of adjusting and getting to used to that to not have that issue with David.

I'm sad ... because all I've ever had going right for me in my life, was my job and now, right now, at this moment, I can't bring myself to even find a flicker of joy or happiness in it, and I was always so happy at work. Previously, I would've been ecstatic and totally stoked about being nominated Employee Of The Year, simply because I figured that by being the MD's son, you are kinda taken out of the equation due to unfair bias input :P, but when my name was called, I was ... not in the least bit emotional about it. I called Mom, because I knew that it would make her day, I've never been the son who brought back awards or medals, that was Jerry's thing, and I'm happy that I helped make her day.

I don't know, not even the talk with Pearly made any difference. I just feel ... like all that's happening is that I'm being used, milked for all I'm worth under the guise of learning and grooming to take over the company. But ... right now, I don't want that. I want to be as far away as I can from that. I don't expect anyone to understand my state of mind, hell it took me years to accept me for who and what I am. I'm just sad and all I have is hope.


Hope.