4 graphic novels of my choice from Shanti and Pearly.
Ok, so right now, that's all that I can remember for now! :) If I've missed out anything ... let me know. Oh yeah. Whole Lim Clan forgot my birthday except for Angela and Adryenne. And from the Skelchy Clan, Adrian and Aunt Monica and Geraldine. :D and Jonathan and Chee Weng remembered. :) I'm loved. :D
I have several events lined up for the year - ... they give me the motivation to see my day through to the next.
Closest - Mama and Pops coming down to KL. I can't wait to see them. It's been about close to 3 years now that I haven't seen them, although I speak to them almost daily - Thank you maxis for the 132 plan. Awesome way to stay in touch. My mama's the old fashioned kind - email or phone. None of this Skype voice thingy shit. :D ha ha ... She's bringing me loads of stuff too! Yay ... ! Wish that my Harry Potter was released earlier though ... it gets shipped out to them the day after they go home to the States. Oh yeah. My mom's an American now ... ha ha ... Next up in line -
Kota Kinabalu! Well, actually to see one of the best things that ever happened to me! Hanaa! :) It doesn't hurt that she stays in one of the most beautiful places on Planet Earth too. This is Hanaa looking all contemplative as she gazes out over the ocean at Pulau Manukan (great fish feeding ground by hand too). She's cool and awesome. Oh yeah - and she's hot for a Mom ha ha ha ...
The last thing that's tickling my fancy now that's scheduled for year end is the LimKlan trip to Perth (although it's in the air over Ms. Redd, The Agent and The Instructor - I'm still hoping that they change their mind *hInT* *HiNt*) Please come ok. Wouldn't you wanna be around crazee cousins who love you to death? Notice I said cousins because I still think our parents are crazee monkeys haha ...
I read your comment, and I'd just like to share with you, that despite what has happened, i.e. the way the General worded the email etc, after we had a chat this afternoon, he well, he means well, it's just that he doesn't really 'word' his email in the most empowering manner, and he realized that today, which is why he went to see your Mom, The Agent, to discuss the matter, but apparently, she's still sticking to her guns. I would ask you to please consider going, as I'm sure that we're going to have loads of fun there ... and maybe we could sneak in a tattoo session? :) haha ... think about it ok?
If ever you needed help in alienating not only the ones you love and who love you, but also your colleagues (email not shown here), please refer to my General. He's the expert who wrote the book and the thesis on it. Every time the topic of Money is brought up, his 'dominance' in this topic rears its 'fugly' head and he becomes all superior in it. Tsk tsk. I'm not saying you can't share, but don't be an ass about it. Ms.Redd, sorry that you also had to bear a brunt of it. Imagine me. haha ... also a casualty. :P
Dear XXX,
Thank you for the suggestion and really its about our relationship with money. Its about how some of us say “NO” to money. I am very clear in my mind what my objectives are for this Perth trip exercise. Everybody is welcome to do what it takes to improve our relationship with money and I am all for support team or anything else that can make us be aware of our feelings or behaviour towards this Very Strange Energy we call MONEY and how we could deal with IT. It’s a strange energy and invokes strange feelings within us about it. We give ourselves all kinds of reasons and excuses when things happen with this energy. When we get it right .... we become its master and not be enslaved by it. Keep coming up with new ideas bro and maybe you can share some new suggestions this Saturday.
To keep you all abreast and not a breast on the payment, I have to sum up the late payers as follows:
YYY, your RM 80/- is correct ie my account received it on the 8th and not on the 7th!! (I will provide doc as proof!! As far as my account shows)
SSS, you are responsible to deposit into my account and I understand from YY you will pay the penalty. As of today ie 12 June at 10.11 am the 235RM is still on 1 day float ie can be used only on the 13th. Therefore since my account shows only today its on float therefore you are 5 days late ie each one is penalised RM 25. So three of you the total should be RM 300 and since my account will receive by tomorrow RM 235/- you owe the Perth fund RM 65 more. Will all the Limklan please say Thank You to SSS for contributing a total of RM 75/- extra for the Perth Fund this month. Similarly Wai Sum ...... (I will provide doc as proof!! As far as my account shows)
Will all of you whisper please, cause you are thinking and cursing me too loudly and I can hear it!! You may call me Ah Long or Ah Short but like I said earlier I have my objectives and I also am doing all I can to raise the kitty as much as I can. Remember in Cameron’s we agreed to the deal and please just keep your part of the bargain. Whatever “disturbed or mixed feelings” you have got, just try to rationalize and reconcile it and you will be OK!! All feelings are equal and there is no right or wrong as it depends which perspective you are looking from.
I thank the Limklan for reading this long winded email of mine and I just wanna say I love all of you and I am really looking forward to meet you all this Saturday. EEE, awaiting your instructions and what is my job for the evening, just let me know and I will do my part.
This blog entry has been drafted for the 15th time, and I'm happy that I had a lunch break to mull over what I really wanted to say to you Charmaine. Whatever has happened, has indeed already happened. Water under the bridge. I can't tell you how to feel, I can only tell you what has happened, in my honest opinion.
I will not digress from what I want to say, nor will I be as erm ... eloquent as you are in describing how you are feeling, felt or will feel.
You asked for an appointment on June 9th, 3 weeks ago. My reply was in the affirmative. I didn't receive a call, nor an sms from you till June 8th, as such I sent you my text message informing you of the day's schedule, and whether you wanted to make it a breakfast appointment or other. If you felt that I was cold / abrupt or whatever you would like to attach to it, please remember that the phone, is nothing more than a means of communicating a message, there is no real emotion or essence behind it. Take it how you will, but I think you know me enough to know that I would not be rude to you, much less over an sms Charmaine. I AM 27 this year, and if I wanted to be rude, I'd just call and yell at you or something.
If anything, I thought I was letting you know about my schedule so that you could inform me how you would like to plan the appointment for the day - if you had meant that you would like to have the whole day, please let me know. I am not a mind reader.
Now, after reading your blog entry, and 'novel sms', and as incongruent as they may seem, let me say that I do not feel the obligation to apologize, as I don't feel that I have wronged you in any way whatsoever, however, I am SORRY that you are feeling the way that you are and if I made you feel that way, I do apologize.
Since you are hitting below the belt by hoping that I am liking the person that I am, let me assure you, no one else in this world right now, loves me the way that I do. I admit that I'm not the most perfect being in this world, but I'm doing my best in all circumstances.
Let me make one thing clear to you Charmaine, as it is obvious that it is LOST on you, I've never, ever really had anything that I was proud of of myself, until I started working and now it's been 5 years, and I am really loving my job now. I have something that I'm proud of, and it's allowed me to buy my dream home, which if you didn't mean jack fucking shit to me, I wouldn't have brought you there ok? I have a car that I love and my relationship with my family is getting better from the fucking hell hole that it was. Is it wrong to work at that as my priority in life? Sure a lot of times I have bad days at the office - who the hell doesn't??!! At least I do my best to correct the situation and this blog is my vent to vent out and then find solutions.
Serene said that this to me and it didn't make a lot of sense until now:
'not wanting to sound cynical, but who ever said life is fair is an idiot.. and as i grew up, moved out frm home, came to the big city, i found out how true that is.
we do the best we can in our circumstances, we aim to make ourselves happy, and you my dear, should aim to make yourself happy first & foremost. it's not being selfish, it's called 'to sustain oneself' in my dictionary ;)
then and only then will some things cease to be a big deal. you are a wonderful person, and i am proud to call you family :)
Whatever has happened, is in my opinion, due to a breakdown in communication. However, I still feel that you are sore over it . Don't tell me that I did not try to call and talk to you, I did, but you were firstly 'driving and extremely emotional' and the next you were in Singapore without any credit, hence you were unable to take the call.
Whatever it's worth, things have changed in terms of me being someone who used to love to hang out, to me loving my alone time after work. I'm sorry if you feel sidelined, but it's the same with Chee Weng and Jonathan. Don't believe me? Ask them. I haven't seen them in months, but we keep in touch with emails, blogs and sms'.
The ball's back in your court. Do what you wish with it.
... I've not bought an ORIGINAL CD in YEARS, and this is the first one that I did - because of this song, and surprise, surprise, all the songs are pretty good. Who would've thought that was possible? :)
I'm not erm ... an entirely huge fan of The Simpsons. I think Homer's an idiot and Marge is a doormat. Sure I'll probably incur the wrath and ire of loads of people, but to each his own ya? I'm not a fan, but I think that the art is really good though. :)
... welcome to the potential future 'raping' and disassembly of your mind, courtesy of fukinmeen.blogspot.com because trust me, if he's going to be honest with his opinions, a few of you guys and gals might need to erm ... well ... back up a little. He's nice and all that, but he's also a severely pissed off man when it comes to human idiots. :) Oh yeah ... and he's my brother :D
Last Wednesday morning ... wow ... seems like a lifetime ago, I lost my head and issued expletives from my mouth that I've only ever heard of in TV and in my head. I said so many things in a very loud voice about David, because I couldn't say it TO David because he had just left through the front door. As usual, he didn't follow procedure and systems in place and I was livid. I stormed out of the office, and I reckon that people sorta knew that I was pissed off. Seriously. I've never been that upset in a long, long time and the office and Kuan and Pearly was calling me to see if I was ok whatever, I didn't answer their calls and PL had a chat with me about that later. Not that I cared. Right now, I KNOW that I chose to be upset, and it felt fantastic and I did that thing that Boss asked us to try out - don't try to shake a feeling off ... just go with the feeling and observe it, which I did and I calmed down faster than I would've normally. And my telling him how I felt about him and his lack of regard for systems in place, well let's just say that I surprised even myself by being calm and rational whilst talking to him.
Well, I have few friends, if any, in this world whom I treasure dearly. It takes a whole lot of something something for me to trust ANYONE these days, and I'm glad that I have the few friends that I do. Hartini's one of them. She's unlike any other girl I've met. She's caring, compassionate, insecure but strong at the same time. She's a lot of the times, a walking paradox. So this post is dedicated to the lady that calls me "Inspiron".
Tini, you have accomplished so much in life already, you need to take a step back from the picture, and see the whole painting. You're too focused on painting micro that you forget to see that every little micro thing that you do adds up to the macro picture of your life. Just like how right now, I don't see myself pursuing the issue with my Dad and the rest of the management, I know that it will work itself out one day. I needed to take a step back and know it. Refer to previous post - whilst still upset, I know that it will work out one day. It's all for a greater good, whatever it is.
Your life is filled with amazing people who care and love for you. People want you to succeed! We want to see you happy and in love with life like you always talk about. Think about those stars that were burning millions of light years away for you and Val to see. Think about the ocean crashing onto shore for your listening pleasure ... Allah made everything so that you might enjoy it. You are a beautiful, confident and strong lady - CLAIM IT! :)
This is by far one of my most favorite shows of all times. Of course, my life isn't as dramatic as the interns on GA, but I do have my moments.
Right now, after watching the new Season 3 episodes ... I think we're on Episode 10, and right now, I'm feeling like Miranda Bailey is about the injustice that The Chief let's Burke and Tina off the hook without any punishment.
All I've ever really had all this while was my work, and while I wasn't the best at it, I took pride in my work and made sure that I did it to the best of my abilities. I helped around in the office when I could and I made sure that I was a damned good team member to make sure that the team spirit burned on long into the night if that had to happen.
Then this whole fiasco with David and the stupid GSK order and how Esther had to make a big deal out of it, Jude yelling at me, Boss making it like my fault at the G10 meeting and making David the hero and all ... you know what ... I am sad, disappointed, let down, upset, indignant and angry. I'm not upset at David, but the at the fact that because he brings in the sales, he is treated like God. I AM NOT IN THE LEAST BIT JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS, let me remind you. I am used to Jerry being the apple of my parents eyes, I've had many years of adjusting and getting to used to that to not have that issue with David.
I'm sad ... because all I've ever had going right for me in my life, was my job and now, right now, at this moment, I can't bring myself to even find a flicker of joy or happiness in it, and I was always so happy at work. Previously, I would've been ecstatic and totally stoked about being nominated Employee Of The Year, simply because I figured that by being the MD's son, you are kinda taken out of the equation due to unfair bias input :P, but when my name was called, I was ... not in the least bit emotional about it. I called Mom, because I knew that it would make her day, I've never been the son who brought back awards or medals, that was Jerry's thing, and I'm happy that I helped make her day.
I don't know, not even the talk with Pearly made any difference. I just feel ... like all that's happening is that I'm being used, milked for all I'm worth under the guise of learning and grooming to take over the company. But ... right now, I don't want that. I want to be as far away as I can from that. I don't expect anyone to understand my state of mind, hell it took me years to accept me for who and what I am. I'm just sad and all I have is hope.
